Love You and Why Self Care is So Hard

I use the hashtag “love you” a lot.  I wonder often if people mistake what I am actually saying.  It is not a statement, but rather a command.  I am calling you to action. 

But do you head the call?  If you are like most people, no.  Why is that?  Sure, sure, sure you spout all the well intended quotes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup” but let’s be honest, do you follow through?  And who pours from a cup anyway?!

No you don’t.  You intend to right? Why is it so hard?  Well lets flip that over and take a good old look-see.  You have lots of demands.  Could be work, kids, family, spouse, friends, cleaning, cooking, life!  How does one fit in the time for themselves?  Fair enough argument.  Time is limited.  You can only do so much in a day.  However, let me punt back that argument.  Why is any of that more important than you? Especially cleaning!  I mean seriously Betty, put the feather duster down!

So the time argument doesn’t really hold up.  So maybe you say, “I mean too, but my day gets away from me and I run out of time.”  Okay legit.  But why did you put self care at the end of the day and not the beginning?  If you really are committed to self care, do it first.  Start your day off right! Right?

“I can’t do it in the morning, I don’t have time.  Mornings are too hectic!”   Ehhh –hem.  Alarm clocks have been around since 1787 (I know right?!) set your clock 20 minutes early and do something for yourself.

But… but.  Yep.  I thought so.  So I have knocked holes in all your arguments, but that doesn’t really help answer why it is so hard.  The reality is, I don’t know.  But what I do know, is that it is pretty critical.  We run and we run and we do and we do and collapse at the end of the day and sometimes we love our lives but often we just don’t.  We don’t hate it.  But we sure don’t love it. And that is not fair on so many levels.

What if you had 10 minutes every day.  Every single day that fed you?  Sure would you still run and run, but at least you could think when your head is spinning and you can’t think straight…”in just 2 hours I can…”  And self care can look totally different to different people.  For me it would be a long hot bath, yoga or meditation.  For someone else it would be a walk in the woods.  For my husband it is a run.    Self care can be anything that makes you feel joy.  And feeling joy… isn’t that the point of all of this? Really?

What if even you didn’t put yourself at the top of the list but you at least got on the list? Just.Got.On.The. Damn.List.  Radical.  I know. It feels all kinds of itchy right?  But… but.  Yeah. I know, but I don’t know why. 

But what I would tell you is that you should be your own best friend or your own mother.  If you have a child imagine your child, if you don’t, imagine the person you love the very very most in this world. 

This person is overwhelmed to the brink of tears.  You see them stressed and frustrated. You see how hard they are working to take care of all their obligations.  You worry for them.  It all seems a bit too much.  Then they say, “You know I am going to….”  You think, “Thank God! They really should do something for themselves!  They need a break.”  And then later they say, “Never mind, I don’t have time.” What would you say to them?  I want you to imagine sitting face to face, knee to knee with that person holding their hands looking them dead in the eye.  What would you say?

I know what I would say.  I would say, “Oh my sweet angle.  Stop.  Stop right now.  None of this matters!  I know it feels like the world will fall apart if you don’t get your homework (or whatever) done.  But lets imagine the worst case scenario.  The worst case scenario is you don’t do it.  What happens then?  Does the world end?  Do I love you any less? Does daddy?  Do your friends love you less? No.  So if the world does not end and no one loves you any less, can that thing that has you are so stressed about really be worth more than YOU? “

So figure out what you would say.  Then write that shit DOWN.  And every time you try to opt out of self care pull it out and look at it.   When you do, imagine the person that loves you most in the world is saying it to you, knee to knee, holding your hand, looking your right in the eye.  And by god…LISTEN. 

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Love

Sweet Cheeks
http://www.sweetcheeksallnatural.com

Parabens in Skin Care... Is It Really Bad For You?

Well lets start with… What ARE parabens ?  

Parabens  are a class of chemicals that are uses as a preservative in cosmetics, pharmaceuticals and food.

So now that we know what they are, lets talk about if they are good for us.  There is a lot of controversy over Parabens  that started  when parabens were found in breast cancer tumors.   So what are the concerns?

• They can cause skin irritation,  contact dermatitis and rosacea  in persons sensitive to parabens
• There is increasing concern that parabens cause breast cancer. 
• Parabens mimic estrogen. Alone this is not good, however since some estrogens are known to drive the growth of tumors , it make their link to breast cancer all the more troubling.
• The parabens  methylparaben, has been shown to react with UVB when applied on skin increasing aging and DNA damage.

So lets got back to what they do.  They preserve.  Oh yeah…. I don’t want my face cream getting rancid.  No, you don't.  However, if stored in normal conditions (i.e. your medicine cabinet) your skin care products should last 6 months.  Also, there are plenty of  natural preservatives that can extend shelf life.  Are they as effective as parabens?  No.  In my estimation, do they need to be?  No.  But that is just me.  Frankly,  I would rather replace my skin care products ever 6 months than replace my breasts.  

Sometimes, it is not a question of, "Is this okay?"  It has to start being  a question of, "Is this really the best ingredient for caring for our bodies."  For me, hands down, the answer is, "NO!"  

Made with love (and no parabens),

Sweet Cheeks All Natural 

DIY Shampoo

To be honest, I have read about this for a while. However, I still choose to buy my insanely expensive sulfate free shampoo over the internet instead of trying it. I just could not reconcile the concept. In my mind the baking soda would leave my hair chalky and filmy and the vinegar would leave it stripped and dry.




I am not sure what motivated me to finally try it, perhaps it was bucking up the $12 to ship the shampoo that cost far to much because I can’t find any sulfate free stuff in Richmond. I wish I had been smart enough to try this PRIOR to order the stuff.



My hair is super, SUPER thin. I have a ton of it, but each hair itself is thin. This worked great for my hair. Left it super shiny and soft. I have some friend with different hair types trying it and will post back letting you know how it worked for them.



I found the recipe here. http://www.instructables.com/id/Homemade-Shampoo/step10/NO-POO/





Give it a try! I would love to hear your feedback!



Can’t beat it, 100% natural, 100% easy, 100% cheap. Love it!

Love, Naturally…

I know I told you the next post would be about a “shampoo” that you could make yourself, and I do promise that I will get that up tomorrow. However, this blog is not just about beauty and skin care. Really, for me, it is about how to get back to the best parts of life. Again, for me, I think that is getting a back to a more natural way of living, but it may mean something a bit different for you.

Either way, today the kids were being…I don’t even have the right word that wouldn’t make me sound like a bad mom. Twits come to mind, but I would never use that to describe my sweet little angels ;) It was gorgeous out, but all they wanted to do is fight. I wanted to be outside and certainly wanted them out soaking up the special glory that are the first peaks of spring. Sigh. However, my little [angels], had another agenda and I could not for the life of me figure out what it was or how to make us all happy. Exasperated I left them outside and went inside. Even more frustratingly, they followed. Grrrr.

Then Tristan sparked on an idea. He asked if tomorrow was Valentines, and then Jillian, asked to make a “special card for her friends, “ and finally we found something to settle into. I even made my own for my hot husband. Glitter flew, paint spilled, every window was open and the stereo was turned up just a little louder than normal…and it was perfect.

And truly to me, these are the most special acts of love I could ask for. The kaleidoscope of color, the sparkly brilliance, the honest intent...

True Love.

Chapped Lips and How to Treat Them Naturally

Tis the season of the cracked dry lips. So we are going to tackle the issue of dry lips and treatment.
First the causes:
Chapped lips are caused because the oil produced by our bodies to protect our skin is absent. It is likely due to the cold dry air, or wind. Moisture on our skin evaporating can also cause it, which is why licking your lips is about the worst thing you can do when they feel dry. Ironically it is our instinct to lick them!
As with most things, it is always better to prevent it if possible. To prevent it, you want to establish a layer between your skin and the elements. Get a high quality natural lip balm. Beeswax, jojoba, coco butter, and vitamin E are all good quality ingredients to look for. Another inexpensive but highly effective way to prevent chapped lips it to use lanoline.

If you get chapped lips, moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. I would actually put your moisturizer (of if you have a butter, even better!) right on your lips. Most people buck at this when I tell them this. It always cracks me up. Do you think your skin ends at your lips? Your lips are skin! If your cheeks got chapped wouldn’t you put moisturizer on them? If you are using a moisturizer that you are afraid to get in your mouth…switch. There is isn’t anything I think you should put on your largest organ that you wouldn’t put in your body. Just this gal opinion! Wait a couple of minutes after putting on the moisturizer and than put lanoline or your lip balm on top. Do this as often as you can and you should notice relief in 36 hours.

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