Love You and Why Self Care is So Hard

I use the hashtag “love you” a lot.  I wonder often if people mistake what I am actually saying.  It is not a statement, but rather a command.  I am calling you to action. 

But do you head the call?  If you are like most people, no.  Why is that?  Sure, sure, sure you spout all the well intended quotes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup” but let’s be honest, do you follow through?  And who pours from a cup anyway?!

No you don’t.  You intend to right? Why is it so hard?  Well lets flip that over and take a good old look-see.  You have lots of demands.  Could be work, kids, family, spouse, friends, cleaning, cooking, life!  How does one fit in the time for themselves?  Fair enough argument.  Time is limited.  You can only do so much in a day.  However, let me punt back that argument.  Why is any of that more important than you? Especially cleaning!  I mean seriously Betty, put the feather duster down!

So the time argument doesn’t really hold up.  So maybe you say, “I mean too, but my day gets away from me and I run out of time.”  Okay legit.  But why did you put self care at the end of the day and not the beginning?  If you really are committed to self care, do it first.  Start your day off right! Right?

“I can’t do it in the morning, I don’t have time.  Mornings are too hectic!”   Ehhh –hem.  Alarm clocks have been around since 1787 (I know right?!) set your clock 20 minutes early and do something for yourself.

But… but.  Yep.  I thought so.  So I have knocked holes in all your arguments, but that doesn’t really help answer why it is so hard.  The reality is, I don’t know.  But what I do know, is that it is pretty critical.  We run and we run and we do and we do and collapse at the end of the day and sometimes we love our lives but often we just don’t.  We don’t hate it.  But we sure don’t love it. And that is not fair on so many levels.

What if you had 10 minutes every day.  Every single day that fed you?  Sure would you still run and run, but at least you could think when your head is spinning and you can’t think straight…”in just 2 hours I can…”  And self care can look totally different to different people.  For me it would be a long hot bath, yoga or meditation.  For someone else it would be a walk in the woods.  For my husband it is a run.    Self care can be anything that makes you feel joy.  And feeling joy… isn’t that the point of all of this? Really?

What if even you didn’t put yourself at the top of the list but you at least got on the list? Just.Got.On.The. Damn.List.  Radical.  I know. It feels all kinds of itchy right?  But… but.  Yeah. I know, but I don’t know why. 

But what I would tell you is that you should be your own best friend or your own mother.  If you have a child imagine your child, if you don’t, imagine the person you love the very very most in this world. 

This person is overwhelmed to the brink of tears.  You see them stressed and frustrated. You see how hard they are working to take care of all their obligations.  You worry for them.  It all seems a bit too much.  Then they say, “You know I am going to….”  You think, “Thank God! They really should do something for themselves!  They need a break.”  And then later they say, “Never mind, I don’t have time.” What would you say to them?  I want you to imagine sitting face to face, knee to knee with that person holding their hands looking them dead in the eye.  What would you say?

I know what I would say.  I would say, “Oh my sweet angle.  Stop.  Stop right now.  None of this matters!  I know it feels like the world will fall apart if you don’t get your homework (or whatever) done.  But lets imagine the worst case scenario.  The worst case scenario is you don’t do it.  What happens then?  Does the world end?  Do I love you any less? Does daddy?  Do your friends love you less? No.  So if the world does not end and no one loves you any less, can that thing that has you are so stressed about really be worth more than YOU? “

So figure out what you would say.  Then write that shit DOWN.  And every time you try to opt out of self care pull it out and look at it.   When you do, imagine the person that loves you most in the world is saying it to you, knee to knee, holding your hand, looking your right in the eye.  And by god…LISTEN. 

Time for Lavender

All About Lavender

Lavandula Officinalis, or Lavender for most folks, has been used for over 2000 years.  We know that Egyptians  used it in their mummification processes and urns of its remains were found in pyramids.  It was used by the Greeks as a perfume and began to be used medicinally. It has been used to treat headaches, burns, minor cuts to various skin ailments.  It is also used as an insect repellant. 

Lavender uses steam distillation of the Lavender flower heads to derive the essential oil.  The essential oil is a thin consistency and is dark yellow to a greenish yellow.  It is a Middle Note, that is floral with a woody undertone.

It blends well with: Cedarwood Atlas, Chamomile Roman, Grapefruit, Patchouli, Rose Geranium , Vetiver, and Ylang Ylang

Precautions:  Do not use if you are pregnant.  Always dilute before using on skin. 

In my experience with Lavender is one is all in or all out.  I have never met someone that sits the fence with lavender.  It is among my favorite essential oils to work with.  While it is said to be excellent for eczema and chapped skin, I am leery of it for those uses.  While it promotes sebum production which should aid handily in with those issues, if you have sensitive skin, like I do, I could serve to irritate more than benefit.  I would caution to start with a very small amount (1-2) drops in 2 oz of carrier oil or butter and see how it works.  If you notice no irritation you might increase to 4 drops.  I would not recommend ever putting directly on your skin and be extra careful with the skin on the face. 

My favorite use for Lavender is baths before bed.  Seriously for me, this equates to the best night sleep ever.  Depending on the state of my skin it use it to scent salts (mix of Himalayan and Epsom or to make a bath oil, and shhhh don’t tell anyone, sometimes both! 

So here are two recipes for you to enjoy.  If you make them comment with changes you suggest or how you liked them (or how well you slept!!). You can also tell me if you are a Tempranillo fan or prefer another elixir J

Bath Salts

2 cups total salt.   If you only use one  type of salt make it Epsom.  Epsom salt is a great source of magnesium and has a whole slew of benefits (I see another blog post coming!) .  Other salts have their own good properties but as a standalone none beat Epsom in my opinion.

1 cup baking soda.  This is optional but if you have it or even have a little add it in.  Baking soda  helps regulate the PH of skin and it gives the water a sumptuous silky feel.  It is totally indulgent.

4-5 drops of Lavender (or  mix of lavender and another e.o.  My favorite oils to mix with lavender are cedarwood and grapefruit.  I highly recommend cedarwood  if you want a calming grounding feeling.  Grapefruit has lavender take on a peppery aroma.  It is strangely calming and invigorating if that can be accomplished!  

Mix well and pour the entire contents in a warm bath.  Soak for as long and you stand.  I find a big old glass of wine and a decent book round out this heavenly experience.  If you are not a drinker try some chamomile tea. 

Bath Oil

¼ cup of any good carrier oil.  Olive oil is always an easy go to and an excellent choice.  If you want something more hydrating and have access to avocado oil, try that.  

 4-5 drops of lavender oil or any blend (see above)  mix well. 

I recommend adding this to your bath after you are already in it.  Many people have asked me how bath oil is beneficial other than it smells nice.  I say, “Great question!”  The reality is basic chemistry lets us know oil and water do not mix,  So how can this help hydrate skin (which is the real reason we use bath oil. The scent is really just for pleasure).  While you are sitting in your bath contemplating the meaning of life or how you lived so long without knowing the joy of a good Tempranillo, your skins pores are opening and your skin is getting nice and soft.  When you have finally had enough sitting still or perhaps have exhausted that glass of Tempranillo, you stand to get out of the bath (be careful!)  and all that lovely oil adheres to your skin as your body rises from underneath the water to out of the water.  It is made ideal by having these hydrating oils on your skin at the exact moment you skin is most ready to accept moister.  So prior to drying off, rub it in and then towel off. 

I really would recommend both the salts and oil if you can manage it.  If you do, though, only add essential oils to one, not both.    

Finally let me say this, in remaining consistent to our brand and brand philosophy of Love You let me address the real nuts and bolts of using essential oils or taking a luxurious bath.  Use of any essential oil has its benefits.  I mean they are yummy things.  But the bigger benefit comes from, I believe, taking the time for you.  It is a bold intention.  You put the love and time into making the oil or salts or both.  You give yourself the time to sit and read or contemplate quietly.  This is HUGE.   That is the biggest healing power of any of this.  The lavender oil and salts are bonus.  The time you take for yourself is primary.  Enjoy . Every. Last. Second.  

Eczema and 7 Things You Can Do To Prevent or Help a Flair Up

Lets start by clarifying not all eczema is created equal.  Not even close.  Most of the remedies I suggest are targeted to mild to moderate flair ups.  No matter the type though, eczema stinks.  There are natural and effective ways, however, to treat and relieve eczema. It took me years to figure out something that worked to help with my son’s eczema.  I have put together a cheat sheet I hope will help you and save you some of the time and frustration we dealt with.

 What is Eczema and What Causes It?

Eczema is a chronic skin condition in which the skin becomes itchy, reddened, cracked and dry. It can be caused by an allergy or external irritant however, often the cause is unknown.

Where Should I Start? 

There is no easy answer to this.  There are different things to consider.  Is the patients eczema sever or mild.  If it is mild using quality skin products might be all that is needed.  However, if it is a moderate to sever case it is really important to try and determine the cause.  You can see an allergist for testing and/or try an elimination diet at home to see if it is food allergy or sensitivity.

I am a big believer that we have more food sensitivities than we often think.  Eating foods that irritates our body causes inflammation within the body.  That inflammation can take a toll in many ways, one being eczema. The best products in the world will not help if you keep fueling the cause of the inflammation.

Here is a great article on elimination diets and what to do. Detox diets are another great option and I will write more on that later. 

7 Things to Avoid to Prevent or Help a Flair Up?

1. Avoid prolonged periods in hot water
2. Avoid, rubbing the skin after a shower/bath.  Instead pat dry
3. Avoid harsh soaps and solvents.  Particularly ones with Sodium Lauryl/Laureth Sulfate, Propylene glycol, and fragrance. (*Note it is hard to find cleaners free of these.  Sweet Cheeks makes a bath gel that is suitable but castile also works well)
4. Avoid products containing mineral oil (*Note: mineral oil is used ubiquitously in the US.  Read the labels.)
5. Avoid any products containing fragrance oil, even laundry detergent.
6. Avoid tight clothes and synthetic fabrics,. Wear clothes that breath.
7. Avoid know allergens if possible. If you have seasonal allergies try a Neti Pot

What About Home Remedies?

I would love nothing more than for you to purchase lots of our products!  However, I also know that there is no cure all for something like eczema.  Nothing thrills us more than the letters and e-mails we receive from customers telling us how well our product has worked and how thankful they are for it!

That said, I also understand wanting to test some basic remedies first.  The very first thing I would recommend is stop putting anything on your body that contains mineral oil.  It is a double whammy for eczema.  It blocks moisture from entering  the skin (which is what you want to happen with eczema) all the while that oily layer that sits on top, leaches moisture out of your skin.  There really is nothing worse for it.  From there I would try to get as gentle a soap as possible.  We even went to a 2 part baking soda to 1 part water mixture for a month.  Those two steps, for us…were world changers.  Give it about two weeks.  I would also recommend a quality moisturizer.  Yes, we make them, and there are many reasons I can tell you why ours are so good for eczema.  However,  in a pinch you can use olive oil or even better unrefined coconut oil to start with.  

What Sweet Cheeks products work best for Eczema?

First, our bath gel is great.  It is a castile base that has coconut oil and shea added to help counter the stripping effects soap has to skin.  However, if you don’t use our products please find a cleaner that does not contain the ingredients listed above in the “What Should I Avoid” section.

Second the body butter or solid moisturizer. I would recommend unscented, especially if you are having a bad flair up.  You can also do a combination of the solid after you shower and then keep a small tin of the butter to spot treat.

In another article I will be profiling some eczema treatment products so stay tuned. 

- See more at: http://sweetcheeksallnatural.com/eczema-relief/#sthash.YmBhblrS.dpuf

Indiegogo!

We experienced huge growth in 2014 and have outgrown our space.  So we have launched an indiegogo campaign to help us revamp a new space.  Please consider checking it out, and sharing!  As alwasy...thank you for your support!!

Love

Sweet Cheeks
http://www.sweetcheeksallnatural.com

Are You Worthy of Your Wrinkles?

Not so long ago I had some pictures taken for the business.  The one we ended up using, was of a woman, about my age.  The photo we used was of her laughing, head thrown  back, eyes twinkling with joy, set against a bleak winter day.  It was fantastic. 

Before we settled on a picture the guy that took my photos came over one day and we were picking which photo to use.  Once settled upon, he then uses his Photoshop magic to change the lighting a bit, and create shadows that did not exist in the original photo.  It was really cool.  Then he took this app that looked like an eraser and starts to take her smile lines away. 

“Put those back!” I snapped. 

He stopped.  Likely a bit stunned.  And I simply said, “Leave them. I like them.” 

The reality is we chose a woman in her late 30’s early 40’s for a reason. However, I think he and I did not agree on the reason. 

His idea, was to erase the hands of time so that other women will look at her, realize her age and think on some level, “How does her skin look so good? Sweet Cheeks of course!” 

Aside from, as a women, being tired of being lied to with pictures, I don’t really think I knew what my idea was until that moment.  But there it was plain as day.  I love wrinkles.  I love the story they tell.  I love that every time this woman laughed too loud at a joke or cried too hard over a love not worth it, it was on her face.  I loved that the joy in the birth of her babies, was in the folds of her “worry lines.”  I love the way her smile lines highlighted her eyes and invited you to laugh with her.  Simply, she was stunning not despite her lines, but (in part at least) because of them.  Her lines are a map of where she has been.  I map of who she was and what it took to become who she is. They  a map that outlines the story of her life.

However, if I am honest…really honest, I don’t see my own lines that way.  I see every failure in them.  Every harsh word I spoke in anger.  Every extra cookie (not needed ), every pound lost and put on and lost again, and again and again.  I see, “you are not pretty”, “nor good enough”, “nor special.”   I see mostly, “you are not worthy.” Worthy of what?  You fill in the blank.

And I realized why I use “anti-aging” products.  It is not to get rid of the lines of my life.  No, not at all really.  It is simply to get my lines to tell a different story.   I use it somehow so that when you see my lines you will see in them, the time I picked up the spider and put him outside despite feeling like I would throw up from fear,  the time I wanted to yell at my husband because I felt sad/angry/scared, but found the strength to share how vulnerable I was feeling, the time I got it right…every time I managed to get it right.  I want you to see what a good friend I try be, and how much I love my family.  I want you to see despite being imperfect, how hard I try.  I want you to see my light and joy and inherent goodness.  I want you to see that I am worthy.  Worthy of what?  You fill in the blank.

And there it is.  Please, please evening primrose… make me worthy.

So we kept her wrinkles. Because it was honest, and honestly beautiful.  And she was worthy.  We are all worthy.

And the next time I looked in the mirror and felt the surge of disappointment in my lines.  I felt the shame of “not good enough.”  I looked a little deeper.  And I realized that my lines might very well tell the truth of my imperfection, but they also tell the truth of my moments of perfection. 

And the moments of my worthiness.

 Love, 

Sweet Cheeks

Sweet Cheeks Popping Up!

Sweet Cheeks Popping Up in Orange in Carytown

Press Release:

Richmond, VA – January 27, 2014 – Sweet Cheeks All Natural Bath & Body, Richmond-based purveyors of all natural, bath and body products, will take over the second floor of Orange, a Carytown boutique, for their first-ever pop-up shop beginning Tuesday, January 28.  An open house is scheduled this Thursday, January 30 from 6:30 p.m. – 8:30 p.m. to celebrate and welcome guests with refreshments and the area’s only ‘bath bar’, where customers can create and customize their own bath salts and bath bombs. The pop up shop will run for three weeks, closing February 16.
Sweet Cheeks All Natural’s new store will carry a variety of bath and body products for men, women and children. The entire line is all natural, paraben free, and eco-friendly, with many of the ingredients sourced locally.
“We’re attempting to gauge the level of interest Richmonders have in a luxury bath and body shop. The pop up is fun, plus it gives us a front-seat opportunity to meet and educate consumers about the true meaning of all natural, eco-friendly, and green bath and body products and why they’re important,” says  Vanessa McCauley, owner of Sweet Cheeks All Natural.
McCauley was inspired by her children’s--and her own--sensitive skin issues. After trying numerous products and remedies, McCauley created Sweet Cheeks All Natural with the mission to create products that were not only safe for her family, but safe for the planet. 
About Sweet Cheeks All Natural
Vanessa McCauley began Sweet Cheeks All Natural after becoming frustrated with the lack of options for her son’s severe eczema. Setting out on a mission to find something to provide relief without a list of scary side effects, McCauley’s search was fruitless. That’s when she created what was needed—and was better—herself. Beginning with Baby Butter (a soothing moisturizing cream for babies), the line now includes a full-range of bath and body products and candles. 
Free of parabens, petroleums, and preservatives, Sweet Cheeks All Natural products are made from the finest plant-based oils and natural ingredients.  All Sweet Cheeks products are gentle to the body and to the earth, using earth friendly packaging and minimal secondary packaging. 

For more information about Sweet Cheeks All Natural, visit SweetCheeksAllNatural.com or through their online contact form at http://sweetcheeksallnatural.com/contact-us/. Find Sweet Cheeks All Natural on www.facebook.com/sweetcheeksallnatural and www.twitter.com/shopsweetcheeks.

Meet Katherine of Magnolia Fern Studios

I recently had the opportunity to interview Katherine about her lovely polymer creations.  I was interested in how she started, what her inspiration was and where she saw her business going.  Here is what she had to tell me:

"Well, alright, I've always been artistic, but I was overly practical as a child and thoroughly believed that being an artist meant you would be a "starving artist." And that never appealed to me, so I attempted everything else under the sun before I ended up back here. I was in politics, I was a dog trainer, I was in sales, tried to study to be a teacher, I repaired watches, everything.

About 5 years ago my sister was broke for xmas and bought a pound of polymer clay to make presents for everyone. She sculpted a character from our favorite Anime for me, and I begged her to show me how she made it. After that I was self taught, pouring over every article and tutorial I could get my hands online.

I'm heavily inspired by anime, it's just such a limitless visual art form, I'm inspired by nature, I'm inspired by Greek and Norse mythologies and I grew up addicted to "The Dark Crystal" by Jim Henson. I need an emotion to drive a sculpt since one can take several sittings over weeks or months.

I work mostly with polymer clay, it's an affordable, safe clay that you can cure in your home oven. It comes in a few dozens colors, with many special effect clays available for experimentation, and stronger varieties for more serious artists. I've also started furring some animal sculptures with Alpaca fiber for added realism.

I make my creations in my home, since I work in miniature I don't need a full studio, but I do have a nasty habit of nesting in part of the house. My husband will come home and see me surrounded by strange tools and reference materials, and he often has to shoo me back into the craft room we have set up. It's a beautiful sun room that over looks our yard filled with birds and animals.

Next on the horizon I hope to expand my inventory by harnessing home resin casting. I've almost mastered pouring my own molds and resin casts of my sculpts. The owl you featured is my best example of that currently. The original took a full day to sculpt and countless days before that to waste on other projects before I found him in the back of my head. But with resin casting I can offer many people the same piece at a very affordable rate. Since it's still made in my home and I still paint each and every one, they're still one of a kind!

This January, I will start my very first Kickstarter campaign, to purchase a vacuum chamber so I can use better and more advanced casting materials. I will use the event to launch posable semi plush art dolls of various creatures. I'm still debating which creatures to feature first (my current choice is a Japanese Flying Squirrel, it's surreal how cute they are)

Wish me luck and thank you for your interest and support, I was raised in Richmond and one of my favorite things is to show off my city to out of towners."

For more of her amazing creations, visit her shop on Etsy, Magnolia Fern Studios

Sweet Cheeks Natural Bath & Body Launches SweetCheeksAllNatural.com

Website Provides Natural Bath & Beauty Products for Gift, Wholesale, & Retail

Richmond, VA – September 19, 2013 – Sweet Cheeks Natural Bath & Body; purveyors of all natural, paraben-free, petroleum-free, and preservative-free bath and body products; today announced the availability of their complete line of eco-conscious body products at SweetCheeksAllNatural.com. 

Sweet Cheeks Natural’s new web presence showcases their inventory of vegan, eco-friendly, and cruelty-free offerings including aftershaves, diaper crèmes, body butters, body washes, coca butter, shea butter and solid lotions. 

In an effort to best accommodate the requirements of their largest target audience – beauty retailers, boutiques, and gift shops SweetCheeksAllNatural.com focuses on educating wholesalers, gift retailers, and consumers about the true meaning of “all natural, eco-friendly, and green” bath and body products and the importance of living an eco-conscious lifestyle. 

Inspired by her children’s and her own sensitive skin issues, owner & founder, Vanessa McCauley created SweetCheeks Natural with the mission to create products that were not only safe for her family but safe for the planet. 

Free of parabens, petroleums, and preservatives; Sweet Cheeks Natural products are made from the finest plant based oils and natural ingredients.  All Sweet Cheeks Natural products are not only gentle to the body but gentle to the earth and are packaged in recycled glass canisters and utilize minimal secondary packaging. 

For more information about Sweet Cheeks Natural, to purchase Sweet Cheeks Natural products, or for Sweet Cheeks Natural wholesale/retail information, visit SweetCheeksAllNatural.com or contact them through their online contact form at http://sweetcheeksallnatural.com/contact-us/.

Sweet Cheeks All Natural Bath & Body is a registered trademark of Sweet Cheeks Natural.  All rights reserved.

Dry Whating???

Dry Brushing.  No, not your hair, your skin. 

What is it?  Dry Brushing is a technique uses a natural bristled brush to exfoliate the skin.

The premise is you use the brush using long sweeps toward the heart.   It is meant to be done daily and even twice daily.  

What does it do? 

Dry brushing is said to :

• Reduce cellulite
• Boost circulation
• Boost lymphatic drainage
• Slough off dead skin
• Tighter skin

*Note they do not recommend it for people with eczema, sensitive skin or acne. 

What do I think?   While I think some of the claims (reducing cellulite….ahemm??)  to be a bit dubious, I think it is a safe, cost effective way of removing dead skin cells.  If you get some additional benefit.. all the better.  I personally do it.  I love the way it feels and feel it helps your skin absorb moisture better.  However, I do it very rarely in the winter it is a bit to harsh on my super sensitive skin. 

This is the one I use, I like the long handle for reaching my back, but I like that it is detachable for the rest of me!  However, this is a great inexpensive one to try if you have someone that can help with your back;)

Let us know if you try it and what you think!  If you have a favorite one post a link in your comments!   

           

Made with Love,

Sweet Cheeks All Natural

Parabens in Skin Care... Is It Really Bad For You?

Well lets start with… What ARE parabens ?  

Parabens  are a class of chemicals that are uses as a preservative in cosmetics, pharmaceuticals and food.

So now that we know what they are, lets talk about if they are good for us.  There is a lot of controversy over Parabens  that started  when parabens were found in breast cancer tumors.   So what are the concerns?

• They can cause skin irritation,  contact dermatitis and rosacea  in persons sensitive to parabens
• There is increasing concern that parabens cause breast cancer. 
• Parabens mimic estrogen. Alone this is not good, however since some estrogens are known to drive the growth of tumors , it make their link to breast cancer all the more troubling.
• The parabens  methylparaben, has been shown to react with UVB when applied on skin increasing aging and DNA damage.

So lets got back to what they do.  They preserve.  Oh yeah…. I don’t want my face cream getting rancid.  No, you don't.  However, if stored in normal conditions (i.e. your medicine cabinet) your skin care products should last 6 months.  Also, there are plenty of  natural preservatives that can extend shelf life.  Are they as effective as parabens?  No.  In my estimation, do they need to be?  No.  But that is just me.  Frankly,  I would rather replace my skin care products ever 6 months than replace my breasts.  

Sometimes, it is not a question of, "Is this okay?"  It has to start being  a question of, "Is this really the best ingredient for caring for our bodies."  For me, hands down, the answer is, "NO!"  

Made with love (and no parabens),

Sweet Cheeks All Natural 

Is Men's Skin Different?

Believe it or not, facial hair aside, men and women’s skin is different.  How you ask…

• Men have thicker skin
• Men produce more oil
• Men have larger pores
• Men are less prone to hyper pigmentation

So what does this mean for HOW men care for their skin?  First, one thing we know is men are far less likely to use sunscreen on their face daily then women.  This makes them more likely to prematurely age.  So men, please  try a daily sunscreen like this one  Badger has. http://www.badgerbalm.com/p-505-spf-30-aloe-vera-sunscreen-lotion.aspx

Since men have thicker skin, they can exfoliate daily unlike women.  This is especially useful for men that get ingrown beard hair.  Starting exfoliating, will greatly reduce or eliminate these in grown hairs.

Since men’s skin produce more oil and they have larger pores they are more prone to black heads.  This is tricky.  It is essential to remove dirt and residue from skin without stripping the skin (which will just induce more oil production).  

Since most men I know are of the simpler is better ilk, I would recommend doing and exfoliating cleanser.   This knocks out two steps with one.  I would do a 50/50 mix of sugar and baking soda.  Baking soda is an ideal cleanser for skin and is PH correct.   After exfoliating follow up with an aftershave balm like one of ours https://www.etsy.com/shop/SWEETCHEEKSNATURAL?section_id=7082840 to knock out another two steps at once.  It contains tea tree oil and coconut oil to help sooth post shave and prevent razor burn, and is and excellent moisturizer. 

Pretty simple.  Us ladies might even give you a little slack on weekends J

Made with love,

Sweet Cheeks All Natural

Why Men Suck and Typically Should Be Ignored

(Disclaimer:  despite the title there are actually a handful a men that are  not TOO bad :) )

As most of you know, I have my own business.  I started it 3 years ago.  It was a slow start.  That is for sure.  However, I have been amazingly lucky to have the support of the most amazing people. 

About 6 months ago, I was really frustrated with the lack of profitability for my business. A friend, one of the few guys that might be worth listening to, encouraged me to revamp my business strategy.  I have not looked back and have never been so busy. 

Realizing that my business is starting to grow rapidly and knowing there was this great organization (name omitted) that help businesses with advice, I decided I would be stupid not to utilize this free resource.  So I made an appointment to learn what I needed to know to keep my sanity as things take off.

So I met with this guy, a retired executive, we will call him Bob.  I was excited to see what wisdom I could glean from this meeting.  He was a gentile and affable sort.  After telling me a bit about himself and his career highlights, he said, “Now let’s talk about you.”   Let’s, I thought.  I was ready to tell him about my business and the direction it was going.  I knew Bob was going to be a wealth of information.

However, instead of practical information, encouragement or constructive criticism, I got asked how old my children were.  What?  I tell him.  He smiled so kindly and warmly that I was totally unprepared for what came out of his mouth next.   What he said to me was, “Oh, I see.  At the ages they are now, they [my children] still require a lot of time.  Running a business is a serious commitment.  It is unlikely for you to balance the demands of home and what it realistically takes to run a real business.  While you might make more money doing this, perhaps getting a job that pays $15/hour might be a better fit.  Yes, it is less money, but you are not working so hard for it.” 

Then he gave me a lovely smile as if to say, “I bet your husband thinks you’re a pip.”  I thanked him for his time.  Made it to my car and burst into tears.  In 30 minutes this man erased 3 years of confidence I had built in my business.  In 30 minutes this guy made me feel my worth did not extend past the doors my house.  But as opposed to being outraged, I was now full of doubt.  He had made me feel like an utter fraud.  In 30 minutes. 

Now,  after some contemplation, I am not sure what I am more angry about.  At this man, trying to put me into some antiquated box HE created for me… or for me letting him. 

So I picked myself up and stopped whimpering and reminded myself, in three short years I have:

A business that is running in the black, most businesses do not make it this far

Sweet Cheeks has been sold in goodness knows how many states and six countries

Sweet Cheeks was in the celebrity swag bags for a VH-1 event

I was approached by a company in France about doing a private label

I have been taking on meetings with stores left and right (Whole Foods among them)

I have an amazing base of really loyal customers that have put up with me raising prices.

And I did all of this, while being a mom, AND until 2 weeks ago… homeschooling.

And this old fart wants to tell me what I can and cannot handle.  This man who went to work and came home to a wife (that I am sure handled the kids, the cooking and the cleaning) to bourbon – neat poured for him and slippers waiting in the library. This man wants to tell me about work life balance.  WTH?

I wash the clothes and clean the house.  I am the primary parent and I was, until recently, a homeschooler to boot.  I garden, make my own cleaners and do all the cooking.  And guess what, I pour my own damn bourbon and get my own slippers.  And… AND… I run a business. 

I get you don’t understand, Bob.  You can’t.  Because you are not a woman.  You have no idea that on your best day, on you very, very best day…you could have never kept up with me.  Ever. 

So watch out.  Here I come, and hundreds of thousands others like us Bob. Oh… and the glasses are on the shelf.  You can get you own bourbon.   Just sit and look pretty Bob, us women… yeah we got it from here. 

 So thank you… thank you every one of you that has helped me.  Encouraged me.  Told me what I could do, NOT what I could not.  Those of you that, taught me.  Those of you that set examples for me.  Those of you that paved the way.  Those of you that never thought I needed a box. Thank you.  Raise a glass… Bob’s pourin’.

Sweet Cheeks: Tin Can Love

Sweet Cheeks: Tin Can Love: "Recently, I have been on what I call a “major edit.” After 10 years of marriage, you collect a lot of things. Both Joel and I can be sentime..."

Tin Can Love

Recently, I have been on what I call a “major edit.” After 10 years of marriage, you collect a lot of things. Both Joel and I can be sentimental and so when one of our parents gives a box of stuff, stuff we have never seen in our lives before, but apparently someone we loved once owned, we keep it. Shoved here or crammed there.

Recently I have felt overwhelmed by the amount of STUFF we have. It was right after visiting grandparents and our son walking away with a car boot full of more STUFF for his birthday. I came home and the pervasive felling I felt was anger. Why?

Anger, that we are so lucky to have folks that give our children gifts? No. Anger because, he is so loved they get him lots of presents? No? And it finally dawned on me. This is not how I envisioned raising my children. I truly imagined a world, where they might get one or two toys at a holiday. A world where they valued what they had. A world that wasn’t disposable. And I realized, I had to makes some changes, starting with me.

First, I had to lead the way, by getting rid of the stuff just sitting in boxes. I love you, so and so, but you were not your things. I want to leave us with only the things in the house that we love. That matter to us. I wanted to show them that “stuff “ doesn’t matter, but special things do. Two, I wanted to stop with the presents. Not entirely, but limit it to 1 special gift from the grandparents and that be it.

Why? I know you are asking… Someone once asked why I was strict on the sugar the kids had. I said because, you don’t love kids with food. What I meant was, if Tristan was heartbroken a cookie was not how I wanted him to learn how to resolve that hurt. I am beginning to learn that translates out to other things. I don’t want my children loved with “things.” I want them loved with love. Acts of love, shows of love and special moments.

But that is just me, and I am just one member of this family and often I don’t know how on board my family is with my brilliance (joke). So this mother’s day when Joel’s gift to me was a card he had made himself and nothing else I was encouraged (and thrilled, it was wonderful). However, for my birthday my mom took the kids for the day. When they came home they were carrying flowers they had picked from her yard, in tin cans. They were so proud and the flowers were so beautiful. And these are the gifts that matter. The ones that truly are gifts of us. Gifts of our effort, our talent and our love. And they give to the giver and the receiver. And they, are the one worth giving or remembering.


So keep your trinkets and baubles, I will keep my tin can love.



Sigh.

Sweet Cheeks: Natural High

Sweet Cheeks: Natural High: "A couple years ago my neighbors, that are brilliant in most every way, came up with a plan to plant the city easement strips (the strip of ..."

Natural High

A couple years ago my neighbors, that are brilliant in most every way, came up with a plan to plant the city easement strips (the strip of land between the street and the sidewalk) with crocus. So one fall day we all drilled holes and dropped hundreds of bulbs into holes and called it a day. The next February, I remember coming home one day and seeing little peeking blooms around. Sigh.




Each year the show gets a bit better and each year it makes me giddy with the knowledge that spring is truly just around the corner, and the long hibernation if over.
 

Sweet Cheeks: Sun, Love, Forest Hill Park and a Windy Day

Sweet Cheeks: Sun, Love, Forest Hill Park and a Windy Day: "I love to go out to eat. Really. I love everything about it. I like getting out of mommy clothes and getting into wife clothes ;) I like t..."

Sun, Love, Forest Hill Park and a Windy Day

I love to go out to eat. Really. I love everything about it. I like getting out of mommy clothes and getting into wife clothes ;) I like taking the time to get all smacey. I like the time alone with my husband. I love a well crafted cocktail. Because I love to cook I love to see what is new on the food scene. Because Richmond is a food town I have a plethora of restaurants to choose from that will no doubt leave my belly full and me feeling heady over the whole night. Sigh.




So you would think that my Valentines plans would have involved a hot new strapless dress that hugs my curves like Joan off of Madmen, or a perfectly made cocktail at Juleps. You would think.



My husband, instead, said to me when he left that morning. Make sure you are home by noon. He had that special mischief in his eyes that made me ask, “so should the kids be with me?” He said yes.



Hmmm??



So at noon he comes home, gets the kids jackets on and tells me we are going for a picnic. We have been having this odd warm spell here and it has been glorious after a dull, grey winter. So off to Forest Hill we romped. We set out a blanket, ate lunch, the kids romped on the playground, Joel and I laid in the sun. The kids jumped on us and made us come play. They rolled on the ground, we all laid in the sun together. We got, snuggles, and giggles and wiggles and hugs.

And there is no cocktail, or fancy dress better. And I fall a little more in love. Sigh.

Sweet Cheeks: DIY Shampoo

Sweet Cheeks: DIY Shampoo: "To be honest, I have read about this for a while. However, I still choose to buy my insanely expensive sulfate free shampoo over the interne..."